A Fool's Paradise
by LetitiaRichards
Summary: Jack and Sam look forward to a quiet Easter break, but fate says otherwise. This fic is my response to the Easter challenge on the Drabbles group.


_Hi all, here's a short and, hopefully, humorous fic I wrote for your enjoyment, so I hope you like it. It's based in an **AU Earth** **and does not correspond with the Easter time this year... It's a future fic.**_

_This fic is my response to the Easter challenge #61 on the drabbles group. It required the following words and phrases to be used - **Pastel; Fake grass; Fluffy, and Spring; plus a bonus word - Grandma; and a bonus quote of: "No, don't eat that stuff!"**_

**A Fool's Paradise**

By LetitiaRichards

Category: **AU**, Humour, Romance, Future fic.

Pairings: Sam and Jack established.

Summary: Jack and Sam look forward to the Easter break.

Warnings: Keep a few tissues handy?

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Couldn't pay them if I did. Not making any money from this and I doubt they'd pay me anyway!

* * * * * * * * * *

Considering that Easter was early this year, the spring weather had turned out to be warm and sunny. The daffodils were in full bloom and the trees were covered in an abundance of pink and white blossom. The scene was picture perfect.

Except that it wasn't. It was all an illusion. Not one item of this idyllic scene was actually real.

The fake grass she was sitting upon was a green carpet. The trees were painted on walls of pastel shades, and the flowers were shapes made from a synthetic silk. The warmth of the sun was nothing more than the nearby heater. The area was nothing more than a newly decorated room in the house.

Sam sighed with sadness, struck with a deep longing of nostalgia. There were some things that she wished had turned out differently, while others were best left as they were. She certainly wished the weather had been better. It was holiday time and the weather outside in the real world was cold and wet, where mother nature was reluctant to show any signs of waking. Far removed from the expectations of spring.

"Penny for them?"

Sam jerked her head around, only to smile at the sight of Jack leaning against the doorpost, ankles crossed, arms folded, and sporting a wry grin.

Sam's smile slipped and ended with another sigh. "You'd never be able to afford them."

Jack languidly pushed himself away from the doorframe and walked towards her.

As best she could manage, Sam began to rise and meet him.

He held out his hand to steady her and help her stand up. "You okay? You should have sat on the chair."

"Oh, I'm fine, Jack. Stop fussing!"

"Hey! You have to be careful these days." He ran his hand over her "bump" and smiled at the feeling of the new life stirring within her beneath his hand. "That's a precious cargo you're carrying in there, Mrs. O'Neill."

Sam grinned and snuggled up against him. "Yeah, and I wonder who put it there!" she snorted.

"We did. It's a two-person thing. Didn't your folks explain about the birds and the bees?"

"Jack! I swear the closer we get to the big day, the more inane you become."

His eyebrows rose in surprised offence, which only made Sam snigger all the more.

Changing the subject, she waddled over to the crib and pulled out a big fluffy bunny that Daniel and Janet had given them for the baby. It being Easter time, he'd insisted it was appropriate. Its light brown fur was the softest that Sam could ever recall feeling and she snuggled it against her cheek.

"This is so beautiful. Why didn't they have toys like this when I was a kid!"

"Somehow, that's not the type of thing I can imagine you with. Books, spaceships and guns more likely, but soft toys? Nah!"

Sam chuckled again and sighed contentedly when Jack came up behind her and slipped his arms around her gently. He buried his face in her neck, making her shiver in anticipation when he kissed a particularly erogenous area.

"Hmmm.... As nice as this is, Jack , I'm hungry."

"Again?"

"You know what I want right now, don't you?"

Jack groaned. Yep, he knew only too well. Reluctantly, he released his wife and followed her out of the nursery and into the kitchen.

* * *

Sam rummaged around in the fridge, and then grabbed a jar, a stick of celery, a bowl of cherries, a couple of small chocolate eggs, a yoghurt, and was reaching for a sealed container of garlic bread when Jack shouted.

"No! Don't eat that stuff! Please?"

Sam harrumphed and turned to scowl at her other half. "But...."

"Sam.... It's late. We're going to bed soon and I am so not having you breathing garlic, salsa and god-knows-what over me all night. How can you eat all that... stuff!" He made a face and gagging noises. If there was one thing that he'd regretted about Sam's pregnancy, it was her weird midnight food cravings. Just the thought of eating the strange concoction she seemed to enjoy gave him heartburn and there was no way he could actually watch her eat it. Husbands weren't supposed to get morning sickness, were they? Not this long into the process, at least. Plus, it was a sure-fire way to quell any burgeoning desire he may have felt about cuddling up to her in their bed... and it beat taking a cold shower any time. "Geez, I'll be happy when this kid is born just so that you can get back to eating decent meals. And at the proper time, too," he grumbled.

Sam ignored his usual grouching at her choice of snacks, sat down at the kitchen table, and then began helping herself from the array of dishes she'd laid out.

Jack watched for a moment before purposefully turning to walk out of the room. "I'm gonna go shower." All he needed to complete his misery was to find his mom on his doorstep in the morning. He might love her - as any person should - but that's as far as his tolerance went.

Sam wasn't upset by his sullen turn of mood. She didn't ask for this crazy mix of foods... it just happened. She'd been warned, so she knew exactly what to expect. Unfortunately, someone had forgotten to remind Jack what it would be like. Sarah had been a long time ago and he wasn't there for her throughout most of her pregnancy. Unlike now, since he'd retired.

The phone rang and, although she was reluctant to leave her feast, Sam finally answered it.

* * *

Several minutes later, when Sam had finished her midnight snack, she cleared away the dishes and headed for the bathroom, desperate for a pee - yet again. She really hated this aspect of being pregnant. She had visions of her bladder never being the same again.

Jack met her at the door to the bathroom, towelling his hair.

Sam smirked at him as she urgently pushed him out of the way.

Once dry, Jack slid into bed and lay back against the pillows staring up at the ceiling, his mind focussing on how much longer they had to go before the big event. He looked forward to the birth for more than one reason.

When Sam joined him a few minutes later, teeth scrubbed and mouth smelling slightly of spices and minty mouthwash, she was still wearing that wide smirk. Something, he knew, was amusing her at his expense.

"What?" he asked looking at her, his dark eyes almost hidden beneath his furrowed brow.

Sam snuggled in closer to nestle against him as comfortably as she could in her condition. His arms slipped around her automatically regardless of his earlier belligerence.

"Sam! Out with it!"

"Oh, it's nothing. Just that grandma is coming tomorrow. Says she's coming for Easter and will be staying for a whole month. I said it would be okay."

Jack hadn't cried in a long time. Not even after Charlie died. However, he felt like bawling. He groaned and slumped over onto his back, bringing his hand up to rub his face. _Oiy!_

Sam sniggered.

He glared.

Sam cried out in alarm.

Jack startled.

"Sam?"

"Jack!"

"What is it?"

"I've had a belly-ache all day. I should have known."

"Should have known what, exactly?"

"The baby's coming!"

"Now?"

"Yes! Oh god!" Sam felt the pain spike and Jack felt it, too... when she'd squeezed all the feeling out of his hand.

"It's coming tonight?"

"Yes, Jack. I know it's.... Argh!"

Jack tried not to flinch as his hand was gripped tightly once again. He looked over the ballooned belly beside him to read the time on the clock. It was long past midnight. "Sam... today's...."

"I know! I was hoping to avoid today, too!"

Jack groaned, but moved when Sam shoved him into action. "Jack, go ring the hospital."

"Right. Um..."

"Phone! Dress! Truck! Hospital!" Sam yelled out, giving the orders for a change.

Jack glared at her, then shook his head, grabbed the phone and keyed in the number he'd learned by heart. He was not going to panic!

Sam climbed out of bed and slipped on her robe, not bothering to get dressed properly. Right then, she didn't give a damn about how awful she looked.

Jack finished the call, snatched up the ready bag, supported Sam down the hallway to the front door and then outside, finally helping her into the truck.

He sat there for a moment before turning on the ignition. "Sam, are you sure about this? You're not just saying this because...."

"Of course I'm sure! You want me to have it right here? Oooogh!"

"No.... It's just...."

"Yeah, I know." Sam felt bad now for her earlier teasing. Guilty even. "Jack, about your mother coming...."

His eyes opened wider in realisation. She'd been joking about her coming! And this was sooo not the day he wanted his child to be born.

Sam shrugged apologetically. "April fools, Jack?"

**Epilogue**

It was debatable as to who would get to the hospital first, them or the baby.

Considering it was their first, things couldn't have gone better. For a start, it happened so quickly that it gave them little time to dwell on things.

Baby Jacob Jonathon O'Neill was born a mere ten minutes after their mad dash. Sam was not the only one that was left exhausted after the birth.... Jack felt like he'd run a marathon!

Drained of all emotions, Jack could only gape in awe at the tiny bundle of life that he and Sam had created. The man who rarely showed his emotional side, wept silent tears of joy and wonder, which slightly blurred his vision. A vision that he would never, ever, forget.

Jacob's little brow was furrowed as he gazed up at his daddy with huge, dark eyes. A tiny, chubby fist waved aimlessly until Jack placed his forefinger nearby and Jacob grabbed it in passing, holding on tight. A bond which hopefully would remain strong for the rest of their lives.

He passed the bundle over to a hot, sweaty Sam who cried not only in relief, but also in wonder. Never having been in this situation before, she hadn't fully understood how it could hold such beauty and joy until now.

This tiny child, perfect in every way, had been given to them to love and cherish, feed and nurture, for eternity. A mixture of Jack and herself. A person in his own right.

Jack put his arms around Sam as he leaned over to kiss both her and his son. A moment forever captured as the nurse snapped a photo with a camera.

They said life began at forty, but for Jack and Sam it began in earnest from this point. He may have been older than the average Joe, but it made little difference to them.

It was Jack's personal motto... "Never act your age, act your shoe size!" For the sake of this child, that was exactly what he intended to do.

The End


End file.
